Thursday, July 29, 2010

And So I Write

I have a been hesitant for years to write a single blog. There is always this nagging question inside my head "Why do I have to write my thoughts down?"... or worse, "why should I give a flying fuck?" Is it vanity that compels me to share my joys and my demons? Is it my inner fear of passing through this world without leaving anything? Or is it just my desire to feel human by sharing my heart and mind to other souls. Whatever the reason is, I'm making my mark.

In my unfortunate existence in a dog eat dog world, I cannot help but feel frustrated and lost. Endlessly, I struggle to understand why people act the way they do. Random acts of blistering wickedness or glorified idiocy has left me dumbfounded. It has always driven me to question the wisdom in teaching kids and giving them the idea of the possibility of having a perfect world. I will never be a goody goody saint or would I be the wicked demon of the Nth circle of hell. Not good, not evil,  because I live within the friction of life.

Despite all these cruelties, which I just laugh at as long as it doesn't happen to me, (Save your judgmental thoughts about me. It was meant to push you to reflect on what WE really are) there are still things that can make us smile and believe in humanity and the beauty of existence and purpose.

The duality of things has made a lot of us mad in our continuous quest to grasp and understand everything around us. There is this underlying  need for all of us to "take control" of things, people, situation, and even abstract ideas. The presence of darkness makes us appreciate the light and vice versa. One should first understand that these things  should always be respected. From respect, we can slowly digest these things and eventually help us reach the highest possible limits of human understanding.

I write I write I write.
Beautiful way to put my thoughts into words. I guess that is it! THAT IS IT! This is another medium that I can use to express ideas that music, drawing, and poetry cannot. It can also be another way to enrich my material since these four art mediums can "spill" into one another to create something beautiful or shocking. ...* or it can be just a diary that I can retrieve and serve as a time capsule.

Welcome to these eyes.


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